General Lopez returns once again to planet New Colorado with another top-secret mission for Colonel Joey R. Czerinki and his trusty (or not so trusty) legionnaires. A huge spaceship has been detected deep underground, right under the desert oasis of croc-infested Caldera Lake. Czerinski's task is to reach the ship and strip its technology before the Arthropodan Empire finds out what's going on. But as soon as the Legion arrives and starts digging around, the spiders come right behind to start their own tunneling. It's a race against absurdity and a battle of witlessness as the two teams squabble - while progress (Walmart, a couple casinos, Starbucks, and Taco Bell) pop up around them. Tourists, hearing of an ancient ark discovered deep beneath the sand, flock to Caldera Lake by the busloads, hoping to see this new wonder in the twelfth installment of the seriously silly science fiction space saga.
Bonus story VAMPIRE IN THE OUTFIELD included at the end - first time in print! Click here to READ/CLOSE Synopsis.
When a huge ship is found buried deep beneath a desert oasis in an unpopulated area of New Colorado’s New Gobi Desert, the race is on between the United States Galactic Federation and the Arthropodan Empire to claim its secrets. General Manny Lopez simply wants to loot the technological treasure. However, the spiders believe the ship is the mythical Ark from their tales of old.
As Caldera Lake is suddenly overrun by the Galactic Foreign Legion and spider marines setting up camp on opposite sides of the line of demarcation running through the middle of the lake, it’s soon discovered that the tranquil looking oasis does not offer a relaxing resort setting. Something’s swimming in the lake, and it’s hungry. Despite the danger, hotels and restaurants spring up to handle the influx of tourists and the curious making pilgrimages to catch a glimpse of the Ark.
The race between the two sides continues amid disagreements and skirmishes unavoidable in a clash of cultural differences. But it’s all done in a sportsmanlike manner – at least that’s what Colonel Joey R. Czerinski ‘The Toe’ and General Manny ‘The Ear’ Lopez claim.
Hungry crocs, graffiti taggers, midnight commando raids, tawdry torture, and lots of fried chicken all take a turn fuelling the laughter in this twelfth tale of the seriously silly military space saga.
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Rating: Mild sexual references and language. Some graphic descriptions and violence.